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What began many years ago as journaling to vent my pain, is now going to form a non-profit organization to help victims of domestic violence to find healing from the trauma. When I married at nineteen I had no knowledge or experience with abuse so I didn’t recognize the charming act of an abuser during the dating stage. Once I was married it took me years to recognize that my husband’s behavior was so classically abusive. When I divorced fourteen years later no one that I knew had any inkling of what was wrong with me or how to help me. So, once God healed and delivered me I set out to find a way to make people aware of the signs of abuse and how to help its victims.
After twenty years of writing and speaking on the realities of domestic violence and how to help its victims my next step is to form an organization that will not only make the information available but will attempt to be a bridge between secular and spiritual helpers. My goal is to show women that healing and wholeness are possible.
This blog will provide information on domestic violence and updates on the formation of my organization, Home Should Be Safe.
This blog is no longer active. To follow me for the subject of domestic violence please check out my main blog, MinaRaulston. Thank you
For centuries domestic violence occurred and no one paid any attention. As a matter of fact, a man was legally allowed to treat his wife and children any way he pleased because legally they were viewed as his possessions. Individuals might intervene but the law did not unless someone was murdered.
In the 1960’s laws were enacted making domestic violence a criminal act. During the same time shelters were opened giving women limited safe places to hide from their abusers. Since that time more laws have been enacted and more shelters have been opened. The courts are filled with domestic violence cases and families continue to be devastated by violence. With the state of the economy social organizations, including domestic violence awareness and service organizations are in hot competition for grants and other funding.
Through all of this domestic violence is not being reduced. As a matter of fact violence in general is increasing not decreasing. As much as we need laws, social services and shelters there is only one way that violence of any sort, and especially domestic violence, will be reduced. The only way to reduce violence is the change the heart of mankind.
You see, the reason domestic violence occurs is because abusers believe they have a right to abuse others. This is the same reason any crime occurs. Criminals believe they have a right to break the law and treat others however they please. The Bible says that evil is always in the heart of man. God knew this from the beginning. Sin came into the world when Adam and Eve disobeyed and committed the first sin, causing them to be cast out of the Garden of Eden and begin to experience the consequences of their sin in every area of their lives.
The only way to truly end domestic violence is t0 change the heart of the abuser and the only way this can happen is through the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Only Jesus Christ can change the heart of anyone. This is why it is so important that Christians become involved in the battle against domestic violence and not just leave it to the legal system and social services. They provide invaluable services but they do not have the ability or the power to change the heart of man. I challenge Christians to learn all they can about domestic violence and then do all they can to make a difference in the lives of families who have devastated by its effect.
Please feel free to post your questions or your own work in this important field.
Ever since I began writing about domestic violence some readers asked why I didn’t include male victims of domestic violence in my information. Frankly, the reason was that I didn’t find much information about that side of it except as it related to male children and I included that information in my book. There is now more information available about male victims of domestic violence such as husbands and boyfriends so I will be researching that topic and write about it here. So, if you have questions related to domestic violence in any way please post them here and I will research and answer your questions and provide referrals when available.
If you are a male who has been a victim of domestic violence and would be open to an interview please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will contact you. Also, please know that even though domestic violence shelters are for women and children, there is help available for male victims. Call the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence hotline at 800-799-7233 for assistance.
I didn’t start out to be a writer. I didn’t even think very seriously about a career even though I was an honor student in high school. I certainly never thought I’d be writing about domestic violence. But, the path my life took made it imperative that I write about my life experiences as related to domestic violence.
At the age of 19 I married a man I met in my church after a six month courtship. I found out all too soon that he was not the man I thought. Within months after our marriage the cycle of violence began even though it would be many years, after the divorce, before I even knew what that term meant. Finally, the abuse became intolerable for both my children and I so I obtained a divorce with the help of Legal Aid.
Four years after the divorce I was finally able to receive God’s healing and deliverance. I began journaling to get all the pain out because people had tired of listening to me and more than one said that I should “just get over it and on with it.” They didn’t know what it was to live in fear in your own home. You can’t just “get over it and on with it” quite that easily.
That journaling developed into Bible studies that I taught in my local church. Then I began writing for local newspapers and later for denominational magazines. One of the main topics of many of my articles was domestic violence. As I studied and researched, interviewed and wrote, all my information began to take form into something larger than I ever expected.
About 2004 I realized that I had accumulated all that I needed; the new information I was finding was merely a duplicate of what I already had. I began to put together what I thought would be a simple booklet to give to the church to help them deal with domestic violence victims in their churches. In 2009 I realized I had to finish my book and for a number of reasons I quit my job and concentrated on my book. Although I eventually had to return to work I had finished my book.
After going over it carefully I hired a writer/editor friend of mine to do a professional edit. I sent out requests for formal endorsements for the book and received very favorable ones. I submitted book proposals to traditional publishers and one showed interest but then the economic crash hit and they were unable to move forward. After much prayer and deliberation I decided to self-publish.
The challenge with self-publishing was that I didn’t have extra money to pay the publishing expenses. So, I took it one step at a time. The push came in 2010 when my church held an Author Sunday to promote authors within the congregation. In order to participate I printed up the few copies I could afford and sold all of them that day and took orders for more. Later an editor I wrote for referred me to his book packager and graphic designer and I was able to print paper back copies of the book to sell. Almost everyone who has read the book, even total strangers, has given me positive feedback.
This week I reached another milestone with my book. I purchased my ISBN number and bar code. My book is now in the Licking County Public Library in Licking County, OH. Very soon I will have it on Amazon and some independent book stores.
Check back often for updates on the publication and distribution of my book, which can be purchased from my website.